A Freaky Thing To Do

I’m preparing to do a live show this weekend. The show is a little bit David Sedaris in that I read some humor essays. It’s a little Chelsea Handler when I make fun of celebrities and use foul language. And it’s a little Jessica Simpson in that everyone will be wondering why Weight Watchers doesn’t seem to be working for me.

It’s a big undertaking to perform live in front of your town, and it’s something that I don’t take lightly. In weak moments, I have found myself wondering, “What if the mailman refuses to deliver mail to me anymore?” or “What if they refuse to let me buy groceries until I say ‘scallops’ the way they do here?” In bolder stretches of time, I remind myself that I have had to endure much more humiliating things in this small town. Family Swim at the YMCA, for example.

Show up for a laugh. I promise you’ll get one. I’m going to be covering the big topics: life, liberty, and the pursuit of better pubic hair. I’m going to answer how I came to Maine and how everyone else came to Maine. And I’m going to teach you some really handy lessons in communication with your spouse.

And no one – including me – has to wear a bathing suit or say ‘scallops’ any other way than they know how.

Camden Opera House
Saturday, January 26th,
7:30pm, $15