Don’t come knocking at the bathroom door after the kids are asleep. Refrain from inquiring after what we are doing in there.
It involves pores, and tweezers, and products named after women without sebaceous glands.
Amidst repetitive mutterings of ‘that wasn’t there yesterday,’ we determine that a bottle of vinegar, a drizzle of honey, and some cheese rind is probably the same as a chemical peel.
We emerge having exfoliated and lubricated our skin.
And possibly having made yogurt.