Wife Words

Don’t make a sex tape with anyone.

Even if that person is your spouse. What appears a harmless way to inject  some spontaneity and wantonness into your relationship is one heated argument away from becoming something a refrigerator repairman named Larry is streaming from the dank basement of his parent’s home. Make a joint voicemail greeting instead. It is also an exercise of codependent vanity and bad judgement while sparing you the indignity of centering your genitals in the frame of a camera. While listening to the audio playback of your own voice is a torturous experience, at least it doesn’t involve a High Definition view of your Sally Hansen self-wax.

Some things just needn’t be Memorexed.

(I will be weaving in these short Wife Words segments between larger postings. They reflect the off-kilter musings I have during the week and take immeasurably less time to write. And I’m super qualified to dispense advice. Just don’t ask my friends who are presently collecting unemployment or still growing out bangs.)